Boss Lady aka Saint Paula

I have decided that the lobby of the school would be a super place for a reality based sitcom.
The next few blogs are going to feature the cast of characters for the show. They are real people.
They are the core group who work in management and education.
They have to be smart, because they are HI-larious.
As it has been said - I couldn't make this up.
Just for the record, I asked permission to talk about the cast and use their names. It was their idea!
Enter the Boss Lady.
I think she should be skating in the Roller Derby, but that's just me. She is the head honcho of Cottage One. Soon to be Ruler of the Universe.
Susie (a soon to be featured cast member) says Paula likes me because I laugh at everything she says. I do. I can't help it.
She has been on vacation for 2 weeks and it is just not the same without her. For starters, she is clearly on a mission to un-do all the training we try to accomplish with our dogs. If anyone reading this knows a dog that is not getting enough attention, treats, food, water or being utterly, totally spoiled-call her. She's your girl. I say "All dog's have to sit to be petted". She lets them jump on her and gives them a treat for doing it. When I glare at her with my most menacing look or shriek her name, she looks up at me, confused and innocent, "What?" "He was hungry". Right. They are all starving. At other facilities, we have to constantly monitor the staff so that the dogs don't get crated for too many hours in a day. Here I have to beg, stamp my feet and throw a hissy fit to make them get crated a LITTLE during the day. She can't take it. Paula thinks I'm mean. In fact, this may be partly why she has named herself Saint Paula. Since I have known her "Saint" has NOT been the word that comes to mind right off the bat.
Saint Paula actively tries to torture me - Not kidding - She tries. Beside her job as manager of the building in which Loosen the Leash provides services, she is a practical joker. Boss Lady is good at this. She got me to believe her when she called to break the news that the dogs all had to go. Program was being dissolved. Come get the dogs and pack your bags. My heart sank, panic was started to set in and just before I threw up, she said she was kidding. What? She is laughing-ha ha ha on the line. Sooooo funny Paula. It takes me 30 minutes to recover. She is delighted. Actually she called to invite me to a meeting. She threw the other part in just for fun. Please note: there will be a payback for that.
When she least expects it.
Yeah buddy.
Just a bit more about the Saint:
I've seen here in action quite a bit. I was there they day she had all the kids interacting with physical games that required trusting one another to get to the goal. They were all totally engaged and it was really truly fun. I've seen her deal with several crisis' with the kids. This same woman who tries to take me down (not gonna happen) is so very cool headed and compassionate with these boys, you almost have to sit in awe of her skill. Saint might not come to mind, but the phrase "she gets it" certainly does. They listen to her. She can diffuse a crisis and talk about the heart of the matter with such ease. On top of that, she has has been the most outstanding supporter of me, the dogs and this program that we have experienced since the beginning of LTL. Cottage One and the staff are organized and the communication is amazing to me. She knows what the kids and staff are doing and keeps it all together. Everybody is on the same page at Cottage One. I have never seen her mad and I don't want to. So far it seems like she rules not with an iron fist, but a velvet glove. Staff is respectful of her and the kids like her. She makes them tow the line, but she seems to always see them as kids and not the bottom line on a report. And she's funny. Funny Saint Paula the Boss Lady.
AND, she can almost turn herself into a letter O when she takes off her glasses and tries to read the fine print. Boss Lady is awesome.
But she better watch her back. I am gonna get her.

Two really good people

Here's the set up for Good Person number One:
He is a student in the program. Each dog is assigned two trainers who are to partner in the dog care and training. On day one, this boy makes his partner so mad/sad/frustrated, he is in tears-big tears. We spend half the lesson working through this. The tears are a response to the hubris of boy one and his claim that he will essentially be the magnificent trainer and the other boy won't.
Fast forward 10 days. I walk into the dinner scene and have heard that another boy in the group was restrained earlier. The students restrain one another and only if the child acting out is going to hurt himself or someone else. So I walk up to Mr. Hubris and ask , "Who got restrained today?" He leans in to me and says quietly, "I don't want to say right now, because it will hurt his feelings".
BONUS!! DANCE OF JOY! LOVE YOU!
He gets recognized for that act of kindness later in our class and we mark his "positive comment" on our wall chart.

Set up for Good Person Number Two:
Boys go to regular school (well, not all that regular really, it's way more interesting some days than most) 5 days a week. They are in the same room, except for lunch and gym with one teacher. There are a number of classrooms, but one stands out in particular. This room has a teacher with bright blue eyes and dreadlocks. He grows a garden on the premises, plays fun and soothing music periodically throughout the day and somehow engages his students more than most that I have seen so far. He's smart, he's cool, he truly teaches and he is just amazingly nice. Yesterday, one kid seemed to be especially edgy, engaged in a little trash banter with another student and couldn't quite reign himself in. Now this teacher gives him a few warnings to just chill out and let it go. No way. Not happening on this day. So what does our cool teacher do? He gets up, opens his arm wide for a big hug with a "How 'bout it. C'mon dude (paraphrase)"? He keeps arms wide open till our boy lets go of a little smile. Crisis averted. Kid gets a chance to be wrong and then pull himself together to get it right with unexpected support to do it.
BUT here's what I really wanted to say. This is what leaves me with my mouth open every day.
When Cool Teacher leaves for the day-everyday-he says "Bye. Love you guys". Just like that.
Maybe he is just talking to the boys or maybe he is talking to everybody. I don't know. I just hope he doesn't mind if I steal his line.
As my mother would say, ' It's the darndest thing".

"Fixing people"

He quit. So far two boys have dropped out. One was replaced right away. This boy will not be replaced. After 2 weeks, it's just too late to come in and get caught up. Even though we work as a group, the boys need plenty of one on one instruction. The challenge of the teacher is to keep them all engaged, all the time.
We are only at the facility for such long hours during the first 2 weeks. Then we fade away as we are not needed so much. Everyone gets comfy with the schedule and both the staff and the kids know better how to handle their dogs in different scenarios.
I was asked if there was much down time when we work from 7am -9pm. Not really. There is time just observing while all is calm. There is time talking to teachers and specialists and maintenance men. It is never boring. I never look at my watch and think "only 2 more hours". I love being there and there is always a need, a question, an "incident", a problem to solve, constant reminders of what to do.
The boy who quit just didn't feel he could focus on the dog or the training. He "wanted to reflect" he says. He tells me that "he just found out that one of his homeboys was killed" and he needed to have time to think about everything. I gave him the speech about not quitting, about leaning on his partner for awhile till he felt better, about commitment, about wanting him in the program because he was good. Didn't matter. He has essentially disconnected and keeps himself very isolated from his entire group. Bummer.
We sign virtual contracts with the boys. They are made aware of all of their Rights and Responsibilities. I have not had any experience that this is a valuable tool for eliciting desired behavior. We will present, agree to and sign them, but just because it necessary protocol, not because it makes one iota of difference to these kids. It's not relevant on a daily basis.
On the up side, the other kids are doing really well. The kids with learning issues are helped immensely by TAGteach.
The truth is that although I was really disappointed to see this child drop out, that's the way it goes. You do your best to make the best choices for the program and find who will be most helped by working with dogs this way. Reality check. We (me) are not always right. If we start with 8 and end up with some good successes with 6, that's still a winner. Isn't it?

The email sent to me today.

Here is the email I found in my inbox when I got home tonight. Before you read it, know that tonight, Thursday, is the night that boys can have visits from family. While some kids were spending time with Moms, Grandma and cousins, I was talking to some of boys who did not and almost never get a visit. I talked at length to two kids today. Both of them thanked me for talking to them. Sigh.
One of the Loosen the Leash boy's father was killed almost exactly a year ago. His mom is an addict and he says she just recently got "locked up". I asked him where he will go when he gets released. He doesn't know. Today he got a "I am breaking up with you" letter from his girlfriend. The outside of the envelope had the word "Good bye" printed on it. He can barely speak. I am already so worried about him. You could advise me (and some have) to not get involved, "keep your boundaries" . Well, tell me where they are going to go and when someone is going to care for them for awhile. Not by someone who doesn't want them or who is mostly absent or a drug addicted, but a healthy person. Then I will have much better luck with my boundaries.

So, after that loooong introduction, here is the email that has my emotions at full throttle tonight:
"Hello. My name is (blank) and I am an ex-offender. I was incarcerated at the age of 17 and spent almost 11 years in the Missouri Department of Corrections. I grew up in prison. I was one of the first offenders chosen to be a part of the CHAMP prison program when it started at Vandalia. I was a trainer in the program until I was released in 2007 and I still volunteer for the organization. Not sure if you are familiar with CHAMP, but they train assistance dogs. I wanted to share with you from the perspective of someone who has been there that what you are doing WILL impact the lives of these teens. You will have struggles out the wazoo trying to deal with their baggage as well as the dog's baggage. But each little success will feel so amazing and even though the kids may not show it, it will dramatically change their thinking process. I have worked with youth offenders while incarcerated through the Outreach/Scared Straight program and having been one myself, I understand just how much effort it takes to break through the layers they have built. If you would ever need assistance or would like someone to speak to the kids, please feel free to contact me. I would love to help with your mission in any way I can. Unfortunately, with a prison record it's hard to find meaningful employment or I would donate financially".

For the record, I don't know a great deal about CHAMP personally, but what information has come by me has all be exceptionally positive. I would love to collaborate with them in some way. Somebody send some love to CHAMP.

So this wraps up day 4 and I don't tell you the half of it.
Peace.
Cindy
--

Welcome to Missouri Hills!!

I'm back.
We are now beginning to settle in at our new facility in Fort Bellefontaine county park aka Missouri Hills. Photo is the picture I see on day two. I have to stop for a minute to remember where I am. This makes me smile, and I'm compelled to run out and get my camera. Then I ask this brilliant question to the kid next to him. "What's he doing?" (Like maybe the kid working can't hear or speak). "He's crocheting a blanket".
Of course he is. What's the big deal?
Even though I am not new to this, I just didn't expect to see blanket crocheting in a medium security facility for juvenile offenders. What-no gun? No threatening stares? No big bad attitude. Nope. Not today.
We have just started the Loosen the Leash program at this new facility. Let me give you the brief run down of what happens in the first few days.
Before we bring dogs to the facility:

1. Interview all kids who are candidates. They have to meet our requirements for our funding. Kid must have staff approval to participate. Kid writes an essay saying why he wants to be in program..

• Not one kid I interview has a Dad who is present in his life. Not one.

• All of the kids except one act like they really want to please me. The majority seem nervous to talk to me.
• The reasons for committment to DYS vary. Most have stolen something and/or broken into houses. Some sold drugs (marijuana or ADD meds). 2 are sex offenders. None have crimes against another person.
  

2. Day One-Christy (trainer) and I do aggression assessments on dogs for HOURS at the APA. The hardest part is finding dogs that get along well with one another and there has to be 4 compatible dogs. We choose the 4 we want, give them baths, and they get delivered with food to Missouri Hills. APA transports the dogs and supplies the food. They all supply all the medical care. Big shout out to the APA for that! As of Monday, 4 dogs are eating, sleeping, going to school, getting walked, getting trained by 8 juvenile offenders (and I like all of them).

• Dogs and kids get paired up. 2 kids to one dog. This part is awesome. The kids are soooo happy with the exception of one boy who thinks he wants a different dog. We play clicker games and learn the self control exercise. I show the kids how to breathe (yeah really) and we reward calmness. Aaahh.
• We TAGteach the kids (ask me about that sometime....do it). Kid does the correct leash handling, THEY GET TAGGED ( they receive a sound that means "that move was just right". For me TAGteachin is the best thing that has ever happened to me as a teacher.
• All the teaching specialist come to class and observe. They are all superstars. This group of educators are unique in their extraordinary way of "keeping it fun and keeping it real". They have the difficult job of assessing, reporting, teaching difficult kids, very undereducated kids and then have to also do mounds of paperwork that takes tons of time away from teaching. (sorry for editorializing- had to do that).
• One kid quits. DAY TWO. He will not come to class. Already? What did I do??? I feel like David Spade in Tommy Boy when the car door falls off the car and he has no idea why that happened. I am sad. What happened?
• What happened was the boy's mother told him she was not going to visit him anymore. She's way fed up with his antics that got him locked up (3 times). He shuts down. I talked to him for quite awhile and he is depressed. I am wondering if I can do anything to anticipate this kind of situation and diffuse it enough to keep kids in program.
• I miss the photo op of two boys sleeping with the dog in the middle under the bunk bed! They think she is tired but also think she is happier out of her crate, so they protect her and are completely comforted by her presence.

Welcome to Cottage One at Missouri Hills. I love my job.
Day 2

Dead Zone

I get why people drink or do drugs too much. It's so you can turn your brain off and forget for awhile. I could so easily be an alcoholic (except for the puking part). I'm not, but I can completely get it.
I KNOW that Hogan Street is said to have to worst teenage offenders in the state. I thought it sounded good, added to the dramatic quality of working there. I didn't REALLY think it was accurate. It is. Not for all the boys, but still, it is.
There is one boy there that I, in spite of my best efforts, don't like and I barely know him. He seems evil to me. He also doesn't like dogs at all, so I hold that against him too. As it turns out he is a serious sex offender and he has been brazen beyond all belief at the facility writing nasty letters, graphic, to the staff. I will never let him in the program. I feel unsettled tonight just being alone and feeling unprotected. It may be time to get the Doberman.
Another boy shot someone point blank in the face.
Another kid went after someone with a machete. Another boy...................
You never know which ones will surprise you the most when the dogs come into their lives.
But for now, I am still thinking Doberman.
Gotta go, need to quiet my thoughts.
Peace. Peace upon us all.
Cindy

IT'S ALL ABOUT ME

I was speaking with one of my gurus, Diane Kline, about what REALLY matters about Loosen the Leash. What REALLY seems to make the difference about us being there or not being there. What REALLY is the "key" to being effective in the long run. How my biggest lesson is to FINALLY get that you don't give up because every single thing isn't PERFECT.

Example number one (which by the way may be the only example I use but I am still happy to give it a number):

The boys are learning how to let their dogs out of their crates and snap the leashes on their collars without feeling like a tornado just whipped through the room with the ensuing chaos that can bring. Sounds simple, right? It is. It is as simple as every other thing we may choose to teach. You have to break the lesson into it smallest component and teach that little component. Eventually you "chain" the little components together into one accomplishment. Go.
Step one-Teach dog to stay in crate when you open the door.(I won't explain how to do that here,but that's step one and it isnt' hard.) Click and treat. Click means"that's right" Treat reinforces that the click is a really good thing.
Step Two-Teach dog that he can come out of crate. In this case by saying a word that means you don't have to stay anymore. Click, treat.
Step Three-teach dog to sick just outside of crate before he slips past you and out the door.
Brilliant. Very do-able.

Here's where LTL does the real work....in my opinion AKA "The world according to Cindy Vickers". Boy who handles Chowder..BIG dog experiences Chowder staying in his crate beautifully when he opens crate door. Chowder also sits easily and obediently when asked (in most circumstances). Chowder, however, upon hearing release word BULLDOZES his way out of the crate at which point you have to do a volleyball dive to grab anywhere you can to catch him and wrestle him back. Chowder is somewhat oblivious to this acrobatic display.
Boy is VERY FRUSTRATED and can't understand why he has to have THAT dog. Wants to quit. For the 15th time. By the way, he HAD to have THAT dog when he saw him initally. In my mind, I might be thinking, "O Good Flippin' Grief child, just quit complaining and just train the dog". Light bulb moment...if he knew how to train the dog, if he knew how to stay the course, I wouldn't need to be here.
What we do now is "move in" on boy in a tizzy. One and one (and that is critical, I believe) I explain how VERY successful he has been with 2 of the 3 parts of the training. I also remind him that I know what dogs are easy to work with and which ones are more challenging. In this one instance Chowder is more challenging, other times he is a piece of cake. I then remind him of how I am going to help him work through this ONE piece of the chain that needs work. That's dog training! He is doing exactly what he is supposed to be doing! I am thrilled that he can see how the process works and how much he has accomplished. I tell him that! He is smiling. Crisis averted.

Then I punch him in the gut as I always do and tell him he needs to work on those abs.

Once again, these boys are not so different from me. I spent a lifetime moving from place to place, career to career, on and on looking for perfect. Moreso, afraid that if I couldn't be perfect, it would entrirely to clear to everyone around me that I wasn't good enough. So here at Hogan Street, I see myself many times in the boys and in their bravado hiding their fear. Almost daily there is something not working right in the program, something that needs to be better.
Never give up. Keep on keepin' on. Their is love and support all around us. All of us.
I never said that this was really about dog training. It's all about me.
Cindy